Friends in Arms

By: Jonathan Seidel               

Friendship dynamics: House and Thirteen vs House and Wilson: even when you don’t understand. 

It is interesting though, despite my awareness of the negative traits, I get it. It is tough to care when pain is a reality. Depression clouds the mind and compels a dim picture. The menacing reality is struggle to get through. As a survivor myself it is understandable how miserable he is. His expression comes off as disheartening because he is so engulfed in his mind. The external matrix fails to understand House because they do not feel his pain. They cannot comprehend his mood because they are not akin to his suffering. It is this same nonsense that sympathetic idiots try to praise you or offer hope. It is unhelpful. Comfort is not through a hopeful chance but through distanced empathy. Empathy is required. Let them come to you. Wilson more or less to the best of his ability tries to be House’s guy but House is difficult. House finds Wilson though a friend unable to supply the necessary comfort. Yet, it is still Wilson he returns to. Wilson gives up on House’s games and treats him normally. To not give in to his shenanigans. It is Wilson’s friendship that House respects. Wilson will never understand House’s suffering but he can be there for him. 

Remy Hadley known as Thirteen, is an enigma to House. She has Huntington’s chorea, a genetic terminal disease. It’s a fifty percent possibility that she and her brother inherited from her mother. The disease inhibits the the control of the body and emotional state. Her behaviour follows ignorance to her potential condition in order to keep her goals open long term. Finding out she has Huntington’s spirals her attitude and decides to enjoy the time she has left. Her relationship with House is of parables and guesswork. House is isolated from Thirteen’s true self. House’s puzzle solving is stumped by her time and time again. House’s interest in Thirteen and curiosity to know more about her brings them closer. House finds out about her mother and then guesses about her. Despite his constant poking and teasing, she always stands by him. She remains faithful without losing faith in him.

Unlike Wilson, Thirteen suffers tremendously from a potential to an actual disease. Her empathy for him, aids in his own development. The opposite works as well. Her tumultuous reality is in fact a fresh breath of air. House’ solitude emerges from his loneliness. Despite external attempts by Cameron and even Wilson, he writes them off. Thirteen’s secrecy and eventual disease prompts his empathy of understanding his issue. Yet, while Thirteen leaves, Wilson remains throughout the ups and downs. Thirteen medically stands by house but Wilson emotionally does even driving him to the psychiatric ward. It is potentially, Wilson’s non-injury that fosters their beautiful friendship. House criticises Wilson’s personality, while Wilson protests House’s decisions. House cares for both and demonstrates it different ways. He offers to kill Thirteen when her disease progresses and rides off in the sunset with Wilson’s last six months. 

I understand House’s dilemma. I am a loner though less of a cynic and pain in the ass. I happen to have many friends but that does not mean I am in contact with everyone nor wish to talk to everyone. Instead of causing drama and wreaking havoc, I am content with simple isolation and ignoring people. Despite both walking with canes, House and I are different people. I am not against the world nor do I pray on others. Yet, my personality is more the silent treatment than his irate reaction. 

I am happy to have a surplus of friends but I am not as comfortable nor vulnerable to tell them about my situation. Most are unaware of the origins of the injury or what it entails. Their lack of knowledge about the magnitude of pain and the level of distress is personally sidelined. I have no need to tell them nor do I need their sympathy. Their attempts at solace and advice would not be heeded and only ignored. 

Yet, like house I have two figures who I do hold close and value their opinion. One is my best friend Yitzi (though my brother falls into this category, I am more open with Yitzi and he is more challenging than my brother) and my fiancé Jordy. I believe they understand me on two different levels. Yitzi has been through thick and thin with me. Though my brother has physically been closer, spending nights in the hospital with me as well as the better part of four years whether in yeshivah, the states or hertzilya, I have opened up more to Yitzi. Yitzi was comforting yet confrontational from day one. He did not let me wallow in my suffering. Forced me to take care of myself and looked after me. Any advice I was looking forwards, I called him. I was vulnerable to one individual. Like Wilson, we push each other. He challenged me and I him. It was a deep bond that enabled conversation and debate. My injury furthered any attempt at reconciliation. I isolated myself and attempted to survive alone. He wouldn’t let me. Checking one me when necessary. We were studying different subjects in different areas but he nonetheless did his best to check in on me. He is my Wilson. Never giving up on me. 

Jordy is similar to Thirteen. She has her own medical issues and came onto the scene much later. Though our relationship is radically different than House and Thirteen’s, there is a definite empathy that is obvious. I never pined the puzzle but I did feel her warmth and understanding of my situation. Yitzi attempted to rid me of the cane to better my mental state, Jordy pushed me to use if I needed it. Her love for me encouraged her to care and protect me. My outbursts and isolation are terrifying in a relationship. Yet, she adapted to my cause. She tries to figure out how she can help me. I only realised today that her own situation may enable her deep empathy and aid as well as it occurring vice versa. Luckily, she puts up with me but she really gets me. She was not there for the origin story or the past years of torture (though she admits she wishes she could), the lagging of the pain has its terrible consequences for my emotional distraught. This year was one of the hardest in my life. For most, even Yitzi, it was another year. I looked fine and acted accordingly but below the surface, Jordy saw the darkness and the nihilism lurking. The moments of sheer terror were open to her eyes. Yitzi only found out because Jordy called him. Jordy wasn’t my Wilson but wasn’t my Thirteen either. She was beyond both. Her patience and understand comes from being around me. I am not vulnerable but she insists on caring for me.