Be Authentic!

By: Jeremy Seidel

Be Authentic!

       At times throughout life, we do not feel like ourselves. There is a sensation that is a bottom-up process, it starts from inside. We believe we are not balanced, that we are not being authentic because we are not portraying our true selves. The famous 19th century Russian author, Fyodor Dostoevsky, said it best “Above all, don't lie to yourself”.1 When we showcase a persona that is not embedded in who we actually are, when we act in a specific way that is not consistent with our beliefs, we are not being genuine. Leon Festinger introduced the concept of cognitive dissonance when our actions and behaviors are inconsistent with our beliefs.2 This phenomenon is ever present in our day and age. We are living a lie; we need to start living the truth. 

       

In kabbalistic thought, Yaakov Avinu is the chosen forefather. We call ourselves Bnei Yisroel, the sons of Yisroel--Yaakov's other name. The Torah calls Yaakov an “Ish Tam” (Genesis 25:27) and the medieval commentator Ibn Ezra interprets that Yaakov is a man of integrity (ibid.). He is a man of honesty and truth. Yaakov also corresponds to the middah of Emet--the characteristic of truth. We need to be able to follow in his footsteps and emulate the embodiment of truth that he portrayed. 

       

 The Gemara in Shabbos Daf 104A discusses the differences between truth and falsehood. The Gemara explains, the letters for falsehood (sheker) shin, kuf and reish are next to each other in the Hebrew alphabet. All the letters are close together because falsehood is easily found but the letters for truth (Emet) alef, mem and tuf are far apart because truth is difficult to find. Brene Brown talks about in her book Braving the Wilderness that true belonging is when you show up, put yourself in the arena and be authentic to who you really are.3 She argues fitting in is the antithesis to true belonging since you are not doing things for yourself, everything you do is based on what others want. 

       

 Furthermore, the Gemara explains that the letters for sheker stand on one foot and the letters for Emet stand on two feet because truth is eternal and falsehood is not (ibid.). Standing on one foot demonstrates instability and can easily fall over. When you start lying you are unbalanced and it is hard to stand firm and solid. When speaking the truth you can have a stance and steadiness. This is very connected to what 

We need to love ourselves for who we really are. If we do not love ourselves and take care of ourselves then we cannot love and care for others. We need to be men of integrity like Yaakov and live a life of truth and pursue a life of truth. We need to stop living these lies and turn it around. I am not saying it is easy. To show your real self is daring, scary, vulnerable and not fun at the moment. Yet, in the end you will be so happy that you entered the ring and showed everyone who you really are. I give you all a blessing (bracha) to gather all the strength you got and power through to reveal your essence to the world for everyone to be privileged to see your shining light. 

Endnotes

1. Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, Xist Publishing, 2015, p. 44.^↩

2. Leon Festinger, A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1957, p. 3.^↩

3. Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, Random House, 2017.^↩